Canoeing Nightmares

Do you remember your dreams? I usually do. This memory can be both exciting and terrifying often blurring the lines between the real and imagined leaving me tangled in my blankets with a pounding heart and wide eyes wondering if that really just happened. My dreams often reflect my real-life fears. As a result, the plotlines are a mish mash of oversleeping, getting fired, forgetting to wear pants while out in public, people choking, etc. What do these things say about me?

Last night I had a nightmare about canoeing which seems silly but is, in reality, a manifestation of my current concerns. This June I am headed back to my college summer job as a canoe guide for teenagers, and I guess it’s safe to say I’m a bit nervous. 

You see I haven’t done this in a few years and I’m wondering if I’ll be able to cut it. Also, instead of paddling in the border country of Minnesota and Ontario, I’m bumping it up a notch and heading to an even more remote locale deep within the bowels of Manitoba (3 hours northeast of Winnipeg) for what has been deemed a more challenging experience. Can I still portage a canoe? Am I up for weeks of limited personal hygiene? Do I remember how to pack for these trips, start a camp stove, read a map, feel comfortable in the woods? Yes. Of course. I know I do deep down, but until I get back in a canoe, get lost a few times, and sleep on the hard ground, I won’t feel confident. I’ll worry. 

And I’ll dream.

Anyway, last night, in my mind, I accidentally took my crew down these life-threatening rapids within the first 10 minutes of our trip. Everyone came out downstream unscathed, but all of our gear and selves were out of our canoes bobbing about. We took forever retrieving our flotsam. Also, I hadn’t done a gear check with them before we left. Only after the rapids did I discover the impractical things they had packed like glass bottles and an entire book cart full of books (my two worlds mixing)! I woke up flustered and worried.

So I’ve taken on a new approach to these anxieties. I have too many other things on my plate right now to worry about one month of my summer that is supposed to be fun and renew my spirits! Therefore, I am not dwelling on it until I am done with school. For now, I have the library to worry about and if you know me, worry I will. I refuse to allow silly canoe nerves to get in my way. When asked about my preparations, I'll say I don't feel like talking about it (Do you ever do that? It works.). Instead, I'll continue to read and I’m starting my marathon training plan this week and I’m youtubing musicals.

I certainly won't be reading this book:

Lost in the Wild by Cary J. Griffith, 2006

My dad picked this book up on a visit to Minnesota when I was there a few years ago. He said he stayed up late reading it worried about me paddling around out there. So I read it once I was safe and sound come fall in my college town and could see his concern. The book follows two separate stories of young people as they (spoiler alert) get lost in the wild. One of them just so happens to have been a former employee in the same position that I once held. He falls and suffers a concussion while searching for a portage trail and is left behind by his crew. Yikes! It is interesting to see that a few seemingly minor decisions can end up making the difference between life and death.

And I won't even read this book even though it isn't as nerve inducing:

Canoeing with the Cree by Eric Sevareid, 1935

Written by Mr. Eric Sevareid who made his journalistic name as a reporter in Europe during WWII, this is a candid account of Sevareid's canoe journey with his childhood friend Walter Port from their home near Minneapolis all the way to Hudson Bay. In one adventure-filled summer, these two recent high school graduates completed what many thought impossible for two inexperienced paddlers. And remember, this is in the early 1930's, years before radios and moisture wicking fabric. One of my favorite books and an easy read, not only is Canoeing with the Cree a great adventure tale, it is a relatable coming-of-age story of two average kids who do something extraordinary. 

Instead, I'll start crafting a list of books I will read this summer, books that will keep me both company and calm alone in my tent. Stay tuned!

Thank you for the book covers Barnesandnoble.com!